GRACE BURROUGH
Book Clubs:
“We accept the love we think we deserve”
Have you ever wondered why you are dating someone? Does
that person really love you? A lot of people are in relationships with those
who don’t appreciate them because they don’t believe they deserve better.
Sometimes the people they are dating are jerks or mean to them and others, but
they don’t leave because they fear being alone. Everybody wants to love and be
loved, but they don’t always choose someone who understands their value. In “Perks
of Being a Wallflower,” Charlie’s friend Sam is dating an older guy named
Craig. Even though Craig doesn’t treat her well, Sam wants to be loved and
believes Craig is the best she can do. As Charlie’s English teacher says in the
book, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Unfortunately, I believe this is often true in
real life.
Dating or being in a relationship with someone can be
wonderful, but sometimes people are in a relationship even though they don’t
really like each other that much. Sometimes the person you are dating behaves
meanly to you or others, such as your friends or family. I dated one boy who was
a jerk to all my friends and sometimes not very nice to me. I wanted to have a
boyfriend because my friends did and I didn’t want to feel left out. But I
learned that even if I wanted a boyfriend, this boy was not someone I should be
dating. I broke up with him because I
didn’t like how he treated me or my friends.
Everyone wants to love and be loved, but the desire of
some people to be loved is so great that they don’t notice the person they are
dating isn’t right for them. They don’t ask themselves if their boyfriends or
girlfriends are respectful and nice to them. They don’t see when the people
they are dating are being rude to their friends and family. They don’t ask
whether their boyfriend or girlfriend cares about what they do in life. Some
people don’t see if the personalities of the people they are dating are
changing in horrible ways. I thought about these things when I was dating the
boy. To really love and be loved by someone who cares about you, you need to
question if the relationship is right. Don’t jump into dating just to be with
someone. Take time to know her/him a little better.
In “Perks of Being a Wallflower,” Sam, a senior in high
school, is a dating a college guy named Craig. Sam thought she deserved somebody
to love and to be loved by. Sam, who is pretty and smart, did deserve love, but
she picked the wrong person. Sam didn’t know that Craig was cheating on her
with many different girls. Craig didn’t want to go to any of the dances with
Sam. Sam didn’t speak up when Craig was rude to her sometimes and didn’t want
to do that many things with her. Sam accepted the “love” that Craig gave her
because she thought it was real. Sam just wanted to be happy with a boyfriend
and didn’t break it off until everyone knew about Craig’s bad behavior.
There are many reasons people get into a bad
relationship. They might feel peer pressure to have a boyfriend or girlfriend
or have low-self-esteem about their looks or their personality. They might be
afraid of being alone. Sometimes it can be more harmful to be with someone who
treats you poorly than to be alone. It takes a strong person to say no when
someone is treating them badly. Many people accept the love they think they
deserve, but they should fight for the love that is worthy of them.
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